Won’t say, can’t say, say say say….

Day 1 of  lists – Things you want to say (but can’t or won’t) to ten different people (one each).

I avoid confrontation at all costs. I’d rather bite my tongue off than get involved in drama. So, I tend to leave a lot of things unsaid. (However, when I do blow up it is glorious.)

1. Fuck you. No seriously, who the fuck do you think you are? If my life is so god damned easy and all my issues are because I’m spoiled I would be more than happy to switch places with you.

2. I know you. Most of the times you are ridiculously easy to read. That said I know when you’ve fallen back in that hole. And, believe me you have. This time I’m can’t chase you down and help pull you out. I’m sorry if you’ve become dependent upon me and our other friend to stop you from diving into the abyss. You can’t keep burning bridges with us and expect that. You are a grown-up. It’s time to act like one. I do love you and I hope that you drag yourself back to reality… I just have to put other things first this time.

3. I wish I knew what happened to you. You used to be so open-minded and accepting. I mean after all we were friends (and gods know you need to be open-minded to have me as a friend). We had similar views on politics, morals, and life in general. Now you are extremely conservative and judgemental on any lifestyle but your own. I missed you terribly and now that we’ve run in to each other again I know I’ll miss you forever.

4. I don’t want to tell you this and I hope for your sake I’m wrong but that relationship you have going just isn’t going to work out. Seriously give me a lists of relationships and have me rank them based on whose will fail first and I would pick your situation every time. Sometimes love just isn’t enough. Nevermind that the “love” is no where equal, you two have just created the worse train wreck waiting to happen.

5. Do you realize that you’ve become one of the biggest bitches in the world? I believe you think you’re being funny, but it’s to the point where I do my damnedest to avoid you. Snark and sarcasm are great things to have but you need to learn when they are appropriate. Or, even, how to use them correctly. When it isn’t directed at me I still cringe at the way you come across. Seriously, consider scaling it back a step or two.

6. Pack your freaking bags and get out. I know it’s not that easy and there are adult things to consider, but you are killing yourself. I hate to watch it. You are so vibrant and talented; that place is just eating you alive. I know it won’t solve all your problems but I really think that it would go a long way into getting you to the place where you can be content if not happy. Seriously fuck everyone else, focus on you for a change. Take the big scary leap and get it started. Because, I don’t want to think about what your life will be like if you don’t.

7. I know you are happy with where your life is right now and that you’ve made vast improvements lately but I still worry about you. I’m not even sure why. It’s just a nagging feeling that I should be watching you to make sure you are constantly ok. Some days I wonder if I’m going to get a phone call that something horrible has happened. I don’t know if you are depressed or anything like that. Like I said it’s just a nagging feeling that never goes away. I wish you would talk to me about your emotions a bit more.

8. I know I’ve sucked at the friendship thing lately. And I hope you know that I’m here day or night. All you have to do is pick up the phone and call. I know life is sucking for you as well and I do want to hear about it. You don’t have to be afraid that you will be interrupting the big ugly shit that goes on in my life. I’ve told you this before but you never seem to take it seriously. I usually get an eye roll. So maybe I’ve said it too much but its an open never-ending offer.

9. I think you need help. I don’t mean that in a condescending or negative way of any type. I’m seriously worried about you and think maybe your issues are larger than you realize. While I’m not a huge fan of here take these pills… I do think you need a professional to talk to and then if meds are the way to go for you then so be it. You are already self-medicating and I can tell you from experience that just makes things worse.

10. You have so much potential and so many things you could do. I feel like you throw it away.

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~ by Last Night Here on September 13, 2011.

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