Friendship is sanity.

I tried to find the magic quote to sum up all of my feelings today, and everything that I read fell short. That’s quite alright though. It just means for the first time in awhile I feel something more than apathy or agony. (Apathy is the main reason I haven’t had anything to share on here in months.)

 

I know that I spend a lot of time talking about how my life sucks. It’s probably seems like it is the only thing that I talk about… or think about. Sometimes, it is. I get so caught up in the negative aspects of my life, trying to come up with miracle ways to dig myself out. I am incredibly impatient so I focus solely on that and forget the amazing things in my life. Make no mistake there are some awesome things in my life. In fact there are 7 beyond amazing things in my life. Better said I have 7 face-rocking awesome super amazing people in my life.

 

So being the person that I am I have to share with you how awesome they are. I hope they know how much they mean to me. I hope they know that even if I’ve been flaky recently that it is nothing against them. I just haven’t been in a frame of mind to realize that I sometimes across as bitchy or disinterested. I should also praise their patience; not only dealing with my shit but also because I have packages here that I haven’t been able to send since at least christmas for all of them.

 

Jacob has been a great support. He texts me often just to check on me. Last night in the process of walking home he kept me company through the texts, and then made sure that I made it home ok. (I’m currently without a vehicle and its not a short walk from the places I needed to go.) He accepts my outburst of rage at my situation. He listens quietly and calmly, assures me that its ok, and then let’s me poke fun at D&D for a complete diffusing.

 

Starr, much in the same way as Jacob, takes the time to check on me when I haven’t been online. Even though she is ass deep in her own problems, she never fails to ask how I’m doing or post on the facebook wall that she is thinking of me. Starr is also the newest person in the close circle but she feels like she has been here all along.

 

I receive most of my advice from Lissa. Even if the advice she gives is something I’ve already tried or addressed I appreciate it (and always will). She wants to help so she does everything she can to help me deal with the small parts so that I can tackle the large issues. Lissa’s also dealing with her own brand of hell. So I don’t under estimate the time she puts aside for me in the least.

 

Since Heather is the only one local on this list, she is the one who rescues me when I become a hateful recluse who doesn’t leave her bedroom. She drags me out into the world kicking and screaming, gets a drink or decent food in me, and reminds me that the world doesn’t fall apart if I take a few hours to myself. And, did I mention the drink part? One should never under estimate the power of alcohol and my love.

 

Speaking of alcohol, Anthony gets to put up with my drunk dialing. When I’ve finally had enough and want to drown my sorrows he is the one I call. That may involve me rambling at him incoherently (I’m not sure) but he seems to take it in stride. He also encourages my obsessions with anything other than my life. Sure he is watching Doctor Who because it ups his geek credibility and he gets all the pop culture references too; but, since he is watching it I get to relive it and focus on it again. He is one of the most patient of my friends. When I told him I couldn’t make it to the high school reunion or come down to see his new house and Harry Potter he more than understood. And until they changed the reunion (yay no ticket price.) he was still maintaining that I would go.

 

Harry Potter brings us to Des. You see having seen all of the movies within a week of opening night, Des realized the utter tragedy of not being able to see it in the theater. Even though she is saving to get the hell out of her shithole ghost town, she immediately sent me a fandango gift certificate. She knew it didn’t take away the sting of not being able to leave town for a weekend but it would help. Des is really the person I tell everything to. Anthony and Lissa may know almost everything about me; but Des really hears it all. I also think she understands where I’m coming from the most too. Maybe it’s because we’ve been through similar experiences or maybe it’s just because I talk to her the most. Either way she has really been a rock for me to hold on to, and as dramatic as it may sound I wouldn’t have made it through this year without her.

 

Last but not least is Eric. He is one of those that have been around since my Pagan Tea House days. We seemed to fade in and out of the others life but always manage to be there when one of us is in desperate need of someone. I think we fuel each other with our goals. Pushing when we need pushed and genuinely wanting to see the results of each others work. For example, one of my smaller goals this year was to learn to spin my own yarn. Thanks to all the personal stuff (that I really won’t go completely into here) I wasn’t in a position financially to do make that goal a reality. I was almost to the point of crossing it off my list as a failed resolution. Today though I got a wonderful package from him. It was full of yarn. But also it was a drop spindle and tons of raw fiber so I can learn to spin. Thanks to him, I can finish that goal.

 

As you can see, despite all of my difficulties, I am truly blessed. It’s not the packages or gifts from them. It is the fact that they stop to think of me (or in the case of packages they see something that reminds them of me so they have to get it). They care when I’m struggling and they truly want to see me better. They want to help in any way that they can. They don’t want or need anything from me.

 

Even though I didn’t have a quote that expresses exactly how I was feeling I would like to end on one that rings true considering most of these people I haven’t had a chance to meet in person or don’t see on a regular basis.

 

“There is magic in long-distance friendships. They let you relate to other human beings in a way that goes beyond being physically together and is often more profound.” -Diana Cortes

 

 

* On another note. I hope to strangle the apathy and start blogging again at regular intervals.

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~ by Last Night Here on August 4, 2011.

One Response to “Friendship is sanity.”

  1. I think everything said was very reasonable. But, consider this, suppose you were to create a killer post title?
    I am not suggesting your content is not solid., but suppose you added a title
    that makes people want more? I mean Friendship is sanity.
    Last Night Here is a little plain. You could glance at Yahoo’s home page and see how they create news titles to get people interested. You might add a video or a pic or two to grab people interested about everything’ve written.
    Just my opinion, it might bring your posts a little bit more interesting.

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